Monthly Archives: February 2016


ask the questionOkay, I’m 12 years old again and I’m riding in the back seat of the family car. My mom has just picked me up from a friend’s house and I am dying to ask permission to go to the school dance in a couple of weeks. The words are stuck right in my throat. I am so terrified that she will say “no” that I cannot make myself ask the question. And so there I sit… trying to muster the courage to ask my mother if she will let me go to the dance…

Wimp Junction

Have you ever done that? Get to “wimp junction” and then wimp out? At wimp junction you have a choice. You can take action… or wimp out. Taking action usually requires a bit of courage, and of course wimping out seems the easier thing to do.

In my case, the action I wanted to take was simply asking my mother for something. It may seem a simple thing, asking a question. But my 12 year old self would have told you it was a superhuman feat. Why? Fear.

We are all afraid to ask for things we want. And asking for what we want is critical to our well being. It’s as simple as this: If you don’t ask, the answer is always no. If you don’t ask questions, you are making assumptions based on nothing. You miss out because you wimp out.

If YOU don’t ask, nobody will

Now really, think about it. What is the worst that would happen if you asked your boss for a promotion, or applied for that job you’ve always wanted? What if you actually asked for a discount at the department store or when renting a car? What would happen if you took that “empty-handed leap into the void” and asked your spouse to take out the trash or wash the dog? I can tell you what might happen… you might GET what you are asking for!

The flip side to this is that when you don’t ask, you just end up taking what you get. When we don’t ask, we lose before we even begin because we assume the answer will be NO. When we do this we are denying ourselves something that we (think anyway) we deserve. Ouch! Oh the pain that resides at wimp junction!

Asking means receiving

Simply asking questions can deliver the things that we require and desire. Having the courage to ask for what we want puts us squarely in charge of getting what we get. In a crazy way it makes us actually think of what we want instead of thinking about what we have and whether we want it or not. Make Sense?

And consider this. When other people are clear about what you want, they are less likely to make assumptions about what they think you want. When you take action in the form of asking for what you want, you also create openings for yourself that people around you might have never seen otherwise. This can be inspirational to others, as they may choose to follow your lead and empower themselves as you have!

Asking takes courage, yes. But you can do it. When you get to wimp junction, just take the plunge! The 12 year old me who sat with a question stuck in her throat, learned something that day. When I did finally manage to ask permission to go to the dance, without hesitation my mother said YES! “Well,” I thought. “That was easy!” In a single moment of being brave and vulnerable I had instantly been rewarded with the prize I was seeking. All I had to do was ask! What will YOU ask for today?


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